A good day's end..

Woah - what a day - so much for my day off and getting part organised for my trip... 

I got to work around 12ish and left at 4 so that was nice and yes and a little extra cash I wasn't expecting so who can complain, But it worked out well because it's given me that little extra motivation to get things done, and that extra cash earn't today I can pay a bill this week and save some extra dollars next week which means I can start having my money transferred into New Zealand currency, I really need to get my butt into gear and start saving with like 6-7 weeks to go that time is going to be here before I know it and I NEED MONEY!!! 

The wardrobe nightmare is coming in control nicely I've filled a bag with unwanted goods ready to hand it in for money - even if it's 30 dollars it's better then nothing..

NZ funds - hello... 

I'm feeling good and focused and motivated this week - if I keep it up all will work out perfectly and I'll have no stress come fly out day..

I'm also feeling a lot better at work after I spoke with my boss about some things that were bothering me... You never know if you don't ask and you can not fix the unknown..

Danii that last comment was for you ;-)

Well I am off to eat shower and relax for the rest of the night - another suprise I start later and finish later tomorrow sleep in plus extra 2 hours work - woo :-)


Happy Days

Much Love K

The endless crap a woman's wardrobe contains :-/

Aaaaaarrrgggghhhhhh...

I never thought moving overseas would be such a stressful and painful job when it came to packing... I've moved a zillion times in my life and honestly I love it - but I laugh every time it comes to packing because you accumulate so much shit!! Every time I move I do a big clean out - this stays this goes so on and so on - and each time I am left with multiple boxes of crap!! DO I REALLY NEED THIS!!! IS THIS REALLY IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO KEEP!!! Well I have today off - and with only a short 6-7 weeks to go I guess I should get started with packing up my room and tossing those not so important belongings.. This is a task naturally unmotivating but more so in my case as I live on the top floor - the third floor and no elevators - Do I really want to lug everything down three stair cases - no - does it HAVE to be done - YES... Blah... Lol...

Being a woman - I have draws - wardrobes and even still TWO suitcases of clothes i do not wear - Some items I've had for years even still with fucking tags on them... This is ridiculous!! Today clean out day - clothes shoes hand bags jewellery it all has to go - Online POP UP SALE!!! Lol Wish me luck this is going to be a day long activity and I am hardly excited... LOL 

Where do I start....... The dishes...

Enjoy your day and wish me luck with mine..

Much Love K

Update... 

So going through my things I decided to google search - where to drop my crap... This really cool Op shop in Glenelg came up so I called them - They said to give them my details and they contact the owner and she will contact me and organise to meet and look at what I don't want, and if she is interested in any of it she will offer me a selling price  who would have known.... So going through all my things and once again I am stuck here saying - Do I need this - why am I keeping this - especially with accesories - I mean isn't there a rule - if it has been used or worn in 6 months it goes - But what if I throw it away and then sudddenly that was the ONLY necklace or ring that would finish off that perfect outfit.. It's a tough life being a woman... 

And my boss just called I have to go into work - I shouldn't have answered the phone GOD DAMN IT...  Now to pack up this mess and get ready for work - if I wasn't moving to NZ and didn't need the money I would have said no - but I am currently practicing this - Adult - buissness and I must say - IT SUCKS... Where's my trustfund at... Lol 

Until later - Much Love K

Confessions. The ghost is gone. Rebirth of a life!

To my Family - Mum and my Sister Sam - I thank you both!! I love you both - and without the two of you and the final tough love act from you both I may not have been here today, more importantly not here to do what I am about to do which is LIVE!!! 

To you both I am from the bottom of my heart sorry for all the sleepless nights, worry and stress and pain I have ever caused you throughout the years - throughout my stupidity.. Mum sorry I wasn't a better daughter, Sam sorry I wasn't a Big Sister.. I should have inspired you , I should have been a role model, now I can only hope to be that for your girls - the greatest gift of all  My Neices..

Thank You, I love you both Mum and Sam.



This life I really am one of the lucky ones..


Driving home on Sunday with mum after spending the weekend with my sister and neices it dawned on me - Holy Shit!! I'm moving to New Zealand in 7 weeks!!! 7 Weeks!!!

 For the rest of the hour drive home I was silent.. 

I was thinking about life - what I had done what I hadn't, what was still to come.. My family. I am going to miss them so much - this much is obvious, but really emotions ran through me wild and heavy I felt sad, I am really going to miss you Mum, Sam, Alexis and Callie - the girls I cant even think about - How much they will grow and change.. It breaks me, Aunty Katta's little Monsters!!! But through all of that I am overwhelmed with positivity, excitement, pride.. This past year has been one of the worst in some ways some of the best - but in the worst ways they could not get any worse and it's been a journey of personal growth, acceptance, encouragement, self admittance..

Everything I was, everything that has happend, good, bad, people, anything in life before right now, when I get on that plane I will leave behind.. I will forget.. I will forgive.. I will find peace.. I will let it go.. 

Who I am, and what I am here for will be life now.. My reason for being, this life, this world, this moment is and will be exactly what it is supppose to be.. I will finally find who I am and what I am, and with that I will be happy, I will be free. I will live and not just exist. For this I wait with arms wide open..

This life is too short to sit back and wait, if you want something you have to get up do it yourself!!! 

This life is too short to sit around and give yourself to people who do not want you - unless you have something they need.

This life is too short to sit back and hate yourself - no one can love you until you love yourself. You can not be forgiven until you forgive yourself.

Your dreams will remain dreams until you get up and do what you need to, to reach them. 

It was a hard and long lesson, but self acceptance is the key.. Accept yourself, love yourself, like yourself, BE YOUR FUCKING SELF!!!

I thought turning 30 this year would be scary - that I would feel old - worse - I am old.. But I am not!! I will be Thirty, Flirty and Fucking fabulous!!! I could sit back and reflect and dwell in what I haven't yet done or achieved, or I can welcome it embrace it, Be just that.. 30 Alive and free!!! 

Most people at 30 are married, have children, own homes, work jobs they hate, and earn money that keeps them alfoat, this they are happy with, they accept, that is their lives they have chosen.. For me, I have no children, no desire for them, I have no partner, and again no real desire, I have no plan, but to flow naturally where the wind might lead me. My child is my Passport, My partner this planet - my reason for existance - to see, smell, touch, explore every inch of this planet as I can..

It's strange  when I reflect on this past year, who where what I was doing this time last year, I was smoking through a crack pipe everyday - But hey don't lecture me I'm fine - I don't have a problem.Maybe I did have a problem, was I ready to fix it - not yet.. I'd moved away from my family to do that, I was lost. I'd given up, I wanted out. I was dead inside, and I'd finally accepted that.. I had no plan on changing that. Actually I wanted to, but the easier option was to just keep doing it until I was dead.. Really dead.. It was only a matter of time..

Denial is the real killer here - if you don't believe you have a problem you can not fix the problem. You can not help someone who does not want to help themselves!!

I thought I was hiding it - from my family - my friends - at work - Most of the time I was, but not always, and when busted I would lie - I'd be angry - I'd be defensive - I was self destructive.. 

I wasn't hurting myself, because I was numb - I was dead inside -  I felt nothing. But I was hurting.. I was hurting the people who loved me most, who I despite my bad doings Loved the most... Eventually they hurt me back, that's when I felt something, that's when I admitted I was sick, I was in trouble, I was something I denied being for so long, it was then when they rightfully hurt me back that I said - Ok help me. I need help. I am a drug addict. I am lost. I want to stop!!! . I could do and did it on my own. My motivation? Pain. Loss. Fear. My Neices.. My love for them, for my mum, my sister was enough, and their love for me.. It was hard, it was painful, it was a long and still now there are days I suffer, could at any time turn back to what I was, but I won't, I don't want to, and I have something to live for now. Myself. I am worth it. I deserve life.

For every action there is a reaction.


Right here, that  ghost that simply floated through life simply existing is gone. Born is the Free Spirit who will live. Breathe. Embrace Life..

Here and now I am  Alive. I am Living. 

Love K.

Big Dreams - Positive Focus.

Hey Guys -

Do you ever have that feeling of constant repeat? Same thing different day. Do you ever have the urgent crave to break out and be completely different, live a complete opposite life? I am today. Everyday. Ever since I made the decision to pack a bag and move to New Zealand.
Even though I am thankful and so so blessed to have a healthy and happy life with people I love who love me back, work a job that I am rewardd simply because I enjoy it, I am not ALIVE. I EXIST.

Life is waking up in a new city witnessing a sunrise for the first time. Sitting on a rooftop surrounded by night lights and cocktails in a world you do not know. Life is hearing language - learning history of foreign cultures, eating food you can not pronounce, dancing with exotoic menat a hidden island drinking from a coconut. .
Life is a long ad slow train ride through landscapes that take your breath away. Or the rush in a helicopter over mountains and snow.

Life is exploring. This planet is why I was born. My calling.. To see, smell, hear,feel,experrience. Oceans to mountains, from New York to Tuscany. The Greek Islands, Paris. Learning French and Skiing in Switzerland. This is LIFE....

Dream big and stay focused to achieve it.. April 16th I achieve the first of many. And I can hardly wait..

Love you! K

Go Danii

Just a little shout out to my girl - Danii - Congratulations on you're new course you are about to start!!! So happy excited and proud of you!!!

Good times are coming my dear - Good times are coming!!!

Yayyyy Go Danii Go Danii :-)

Love ya girl xoxo

Love K

Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi

STRAYA!!!

Sneaky Sound System :-)

LOST CHILD :-)

Hello Hello,

 Monday was Australia Day January 26th - My favourite day of the year - this year was the first year I've ever worked, so after a short shift the celebrations begun... Drinks jjj Hottest 100 countdown - yearly tradition!! Congratulations Chet faker - Talk is Cheap No.1 :-)

My friend Amy and I got dressed and ready and pumped the vodka into us before too long we were ready to make our way into the city for the parade concert and fireworks... It was such a good day!!! Plenty of laughs had.. Sneaky Sound System performed and that was great - an awesomne end to an awesome day!!! Proud to be Australian :-)

I love my country and am so so proud to call Australia Home!! We truely are such a lucky and blessed part of this world and I am thankful to be so lucky!!!!

We have a beautiful country with deep history I am proud of!!!

Here are some pictures of our day I hope you enjoy...

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI

Love K

Anna and I

I AM YOU ARE WE ARE AUSTRALIAN

Drink Up :-)

Amy and I in our Fabulous Aussie gear

Even though I had to work for a while I managed to dress up my uniform with a little Aussie Pride

WE LOVE AUSSIE

We are the lost children :-)

Aussie Babe :-)

Amy Anna and I - AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI :-)

A girls girlfriends are important!

After seeing old pictures as I made a farewell book for one of my  closest girlfriends it got me to thinking about just how important a girls girlfriends are - and they are so important! A girls girlfriends are the family she has a chosen, and I for one am pretty blessed -

We are Fabulous - We are young - Girls just want to have fun -

Let's take a little trip down memory lane.....